Know Your Behaviors and Rituals
Design your rituals to act with intention and get the outcomes you want
Your behaviors are driven by unconscious self-limiting beliefs, repeated experiences, and assumptions that hold you hostage to an identity you see yourself as. The story on auto-play is what you believe is true, and it reinforces your identity whether you know it or not. You live the status quo with the same results and get frustrated knowing you have higher aspirations for this short life. The solution is simple: drive your behavior from rituals that emanate from your values, self-affirming beliefs, compelling vision, new identity, and purpose. In time you will be living the life you wished for.
Overview
This article is part of Strategy 1 - Know Yourself in the Career Strategy Framework. I recommend reading the six articles that provide a foundation for crafting your behaviors.
A behavior is defined as the way in which one acts or conducts oneself, especially toward others. Behaviors can be learned or instinctual, conscious or unconscious, voluntary or involuntary. I like the concept of a ritual, a specific form of behavior characterized by being formal, symbolic, and often repetitive. Rituals are intentional and reinforce the underlying strategy of this article to craft daily activities that align with the person you are choosing to evolve into.
Your values, beliefs, vision, identity, and purpose influence behaviors. The behaviors and rituals you adopt and practice daily profoundly influence your life. The previous six articles provide the foundation for evaluating your current behaviors and deciding what you will stop, start, and continue doing. The intent is for your behaviors and rituals to be driven from a conscious and strategic state to deliver on your goals and the life you wish for.
Values: What are the behaviors that demonstrate you are living your values? What are your current behaviors that conflict with your stated values?
Beliefs: What are the behaviors of your beliefs? What behaviors must you adopt to believe something different or self-affirming?
Emotions: How do you control your behavior when you experience various emotions? Are there behaviors you need to change?
Vision: What behaviors are needed to make your vision a reality and achieve what you want?
Identity: What behaviors are needed to reinforce the identity you want? Given our current behaviors, what identity are you projecting?
Purpose: What behaviors are required to pursue your purpose with authenticity and integrity?
By adopting this approach, your behaviors are no longer random, and you evolve into a chosen identity through habits and rituals that are consciously and strategically designed from the perspectives above. You eliminate behaviors that no longer serve you because they conflict with your values, beliefs, vision, identity, and purpose. Despise the identity that is behind the behaviors you want to eliminate.
Behaviors based on an identity change
Your behaviors are usually a reflection of your identity. What you do is an indication of the type of person you believe that you are - either consciously or unconsciously. Research has shown that once a person believes in a particular aspect of their identity, they are more likely to act in alignment with that belief1.
Identity is about what you believe. The more evidence you have for a belief, the more strongly you will believe it. True behavior change is identity change2.
Atomic Habits describes this powerful and easy method to identify the behaviors and rituals to evolve your identity. True behavior change is identity change.
Changing your identity requires new evidence and deposits to become that person. Clear describes the two-step process:
Decide the type of person you want to be.
Prove it to yourself with small wins.
Exercise: decide the rituals and small habits to become the person of your vision. Create a document and describe the aspect of an identity you seek and the associated rituals.
Ask yourself, “Who is the type of person that could get the outcome I want”
I am the type of person who:
Is <the person you want to become>:
habit #1
habit #2
My example:
Is physically fit and never misses a daily workout:
Set coffee for auto-brew and pack my gym bag the night before.
Go to the gym every day.
Take a walk in the evening.
Creating the flywheel for change
The core theme of CSF Strategy 1 is the conscious choice for your life vision and the person you want to become. Behaviors and rituals are where the rubber meets the road to making that real. When your behaviors are driven by values, beliefs, a compelling vision and identity, and an aspirational purpose, they deliver the outcomes you seek. You create a self-generating flywheel where your behaviors and rituals shape these, and in turn, they shape your behaviors.
Document behaviors and rituals
The key to this intentional exercise is creating a document that clearly articulates the behaviors and rituals that align with values, beliefs, vision, identity, and purpose. You then are in a position to begin practicing these daily rituals rooted in what you want and who you want to become. I have my document printed out and read it every day. For new rituals, it’s a conscious reminder to take action and build the habit daily, even if it’s uncomfortable! I then build confidence, and it becomes natural.
Experiment With This
Before choosing to do something and taking action, ask yourself: does this behavior align with my values, beliefs, vision, identity, or purpose?
You may be unconscious of a belief or assumption holding you back. Engage close friends and colleagues you trust in an open dialog to gain a broader perspective and ideas to break out of your current stagnation.
Resources
Books
Atomic Habits by James Clear (page 34)
Atomic Habits by James Clear (page 34)